THE CIRCLE OF FEAR
Fear. It’s the curse of humanity. It’s the fuel that drives nations to spend billions on defence; it crouches in the waiting room of every doctor’s clinic; it paralyses our capacity for generosity and giving, as we’re fearful that we won’t have enough. And it can be very difficult to control.
Fear, when it strikes, is an elusive, slippery threat, difficult to catch hold of and contain. We hear fear’s intimidating whisper in our hearts and minds, and immediately try to arrest it, contain it before too much damage is done. But taking control and choosing faith over fear takes steely discipline.
David comes at fear head on, as now he is a fugitive from Saul, who is now consumed with murderous jealousy. This psalm may describe the events of just one night, or a more extended period. David cries out to God for help, and begins to affirm the greatness and might of the Lord, but then soon spirals back down into fretting again over the power of his pursuers. And that’s how faith and fear often interact. Fear troubles us, replaced by faith in God, which in turn is then replaced once again by fear. When trouble comes, it will take more than a one-time choice to stand firm in faith; repeated choices to trust God will be needed.
Fear will come to us all at times. David doesn’t say, ‘If I am afraid’, but rather ‘when I am afraid’. Life will present all of us with the opportunity and temptation to allow fear to overwhelm us. But David, stranded in this area near where he had killed Goliath, does not have to cower before the giant of fear, but affirms that when fear strikes, he will choose to trust God.
But what does that actually look like at a practical level? Certainly trust is an active choice, not an attitude that we passively drift into. It means that we decide to believe that God is not only interested, but is actively involved, and able to intervene. And trust demands that we resolutely refuse to allow anxiety to consume us. For me, trust means that I train my mind to send out urgent, brief, ‘arrow’ prayers to God, which are constructive, instead of worrying, which is not only useless but is also destructive.
Jesus tells us to not be afraid, which surely suggests that we have a choice. We are not at the mercy of every terrorised thought that pops into our minds. But steadfast mental resolution must be ours if faith is to triumph in the internal conflict that comes when we feel under threat.